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Wired for Dating: How Understanding Neurobiology and Attachment Style Can Help You Find Your Ideal Mate
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In the age of online dating, finding a real connection can seem more daunting than ever! So, why not stack the odds of finding the right person in your favor? This book offers simple, proven-effective principles drawn from neuroscience and attachment theory to help you find the perfect mate.Everybody wants someone to love and spend time with, and searching for your ideal partner is a natural and healthy human tendency. Just about everyone dates at some point in their lives, yet few really understand what they're doing or how to get the best results. In Wired for Dating, psychologist and relationship expert Stan Tatkin—author of Wired for Love—offers powerful tips based in neuroscience and attachment theory to help you find a compatible mate and go on to create a fabulous relationship.Using real-life scenarios, you’ll learn key concepts about how people become attracted to potential partners, move toward or away from commitment, and the important role the brain and nervous system play in this process. Each chapter explores the scientific concepts of attachment theory, arousal regulation, and neuroscience. And with a little practice, you’ll learn to apply these exercises and practical techniques to your dating life.If you’re ready to get serious (or not!) about dating, meet your match, and have more fun, this book will be your guide.
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Product details
Paperback: 200 pages
Publisher: New Harbinger Publications; 1 edition (January 2, 2016)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 162625303X
ISBN-13: 978-1626253032
Product Dimensions:
6.2 x 0.5 x 9 inches
Shipping Weight: 12.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review:
4.2 out of 5 stars
51 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#24,596 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
I love this book! It makes me want to date, I look forward to figuring things out with a potential partner more and more as I re-read my favorite passages. I especially appreciate the idea that we can learn to soothe our partners when things get tense between us and that there are ways to think about how our respective styles of relating can be handled successfully. This island is looking forward to my future anchor. I especially loved his myths about love: this 60+ person is ready to jump right in!
I'm a therapist who trains with Dr. Tatkin. So yes, I'm bias! The man is brilliant, sharp, using cutting edge understanding of the way we bond and maximize our relationships. He truly is amazing, and he is a genuine mentor. In fact, he's got this buddha vibe about him. The smiling and laughing Buddha that is! Since studying with Stan, the way I work with my couples changed drastically, and helped my couples tremendously. Not to mention how my own intimate relationship has benefited enormously. Wired for Dating is a must read! It lays a strong foundation on what it means to be in a win-win relationship, and how to avoid the pitfalls we all face at times; pitfalls that can destroy relationships when not dealt with efficiently. I wish I had known all of this material years ago. So many wasted years. And more importantly, I'm glad I found Stan. It's never too late to have a great relationship!
Tatkin's book is much more balanced and practical than many of the attachment-based relationship books out there. His explanation of the neurobiology of attraction is easy to understand and incredibly important in making sense of new relationship experiences and changes in thinking and behavior that can otherwise be puzzling or hurtful. He offers practical ideas for how to understand one's own and others' needs in relationship and styles of relating, and how to take better care of oneself before and during the development of a potential partnership. The book is written for people seeking a healthy relationship with a long-term committed partner, but many of my clients have found it useful for healthier ways to approach dating in general, even when commitment is not a current goal.
This book helped me learn about myself, my parents and what I was looking for in a partner. It actually helped me find and be a reassuring, secure partner.
I love the philosophy that is taught so well here. Our past, upbringing and how we feel growing up does mold us into the begin gs we become.Until I read this book I had no idea why Inwas pushing people away or reacting to my relationships. I am a psychology major and have read many self help books. This is one of the best!
If you've read Stan's other books, then you have a sense of what's on offer here--smart, practical, neurobiologically and attachment informed relational advice--but this is his best so far. Stan has a knack for continuing to put out new, and better material: in addition to being a very sane guide to dating (I've not seen another one that takes its cue from the latest research, while also being original and creative), there are lots of exercises and general advice applicable to long-standing relationships as well. I am a clinical psychologist and of course human being with a vested interest in getting better at relationships and understanding what makes them work, and there are few writers or models out there I would recommend more highly. Definitely not to be missed.
The dating scenarios and explanations were too long. This felt like assigned reading for a Psychology 101 class on attachment theory and dating. STILL VERY USEFUL INFORMATION TO KNOW. My favorite parts were when the author disclosed how he vetted his partner in dating and about his wave-tendency, (attachment styles are anchor, island, and wave for secure, insecure avoidant, insecure ambivalent).
Pretty good, easy to understand. My LCSW recommended I read it. It's hard for me to assign everyone to a cookie cutter box, so I recommend taking it with a grain of salt but the message is still the same. I ultimately found it insightful and helpful.
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